Chicken Balls

Journal Entry. Edmonton.
October 20th, 1980.

We got a lot of mileage out of Vicki's interview last week with Percy Wickman. The media critic in the Edmonton Journal called it "refreshingly frank".

[Editor's note: Wickman was a wheel-chair bound, crusading Christian alderman who'd vowed to clean up the city's body rub shops].

So, I decided to keep the story alive and do a bit of...er, undercover, first-hand research myself. With a 150 bucks of petty cash money, my buddy Spud riding shot gun, I went looking for the DARK SIDE.

First stop - the Strathcona pub (this is how yuppies like me find the dark side. We drink our way there).

Four hours and many beers later, with just enough cash left to conduct our investigation we stumbled our way into a massage parlour above the Blue Mandarin Chinese restaurant on Jasper Avenue.

My "date", April (or maybe it was Brandy or Candy or Chrissy) talked me into the Autumn Special which got me a bottle of Baby Duck "champagne"... a bubble bath in a hot tub beneath a black light with Jethro Tull playing "Thick as a Brick" on the stereo (which seemed appropriate) and a ...er, massage.

I put myself on the show the next morning in the 7:50 prime time slot to report on my cutting edge journalism.

The item went well until Vicki paused, smiled -- and asked if I'd had the "chicken balls".

As they say, I misunderstood her question ... answering - "I hope not but I'll watch out for them".

Wonder what the paper's going to write about that ?


iNudes said...

yah but did your story have a happy ending?

Anonymous said...

Thank god for the CBC the Sun couldn't run access to information requests back then.

Allan said...

Yes, more salacious details would have been fun. Love those daring self-expose's (where's the french accent on this keyboard ... ah, too lazy).
Nice to read that you're a real man, Don!

Wow, a guy in a wheelchair who wants to crusade against prostitution. The fact that society doesn't demand an "are you stupid test" before we can become famous has certainly helped my career over the years, as well.
Perhaps he would become so popular as to one day get laid.