Thank you Richard Nixon

Journal Entry - Winnipeg.
October, 17th - 2007.

"A Man is not finished when he is defeated; he's finished when he quits."

- Richard M. Nixon

Thank God for Richard Nixon.

As I steel myself to face the humiliation at having lost not once...not twice...but THREE times at Monday night’s Gemini Awards “Industry Gala” (cash bar), I sustain myself in these dark hours by remembering the words of the Great Dick who taught us all how to maintain one’s dignity while poised on the suicide’s ledge -:

“fuck ‘em, Bob” said America’s First Citizen – “I’ve never had sympathy for all that ‘it’s-how-you-play-the-game’ crap. Next time – we’ll cheat.”

Ah yes. To cheat or not to cheat ? Which, if you think about it - is a kind of a redundant question for a TV mercenary like me, but let's not go there. Not tonight.

My friend LAINE DREWERY scooped up the Best Documentary Director’s award.

My U2 film “Music Rising” was defeated in the editing category by those pinkos at the CBC.

But my deepest wound was losing the Best Documentary Writer award to a couple of 25 year-old “dudes” for their film on Heavy Metal. Adding salt to the bloody maw my date whispered in my ear "they're REALLY good looking, aren't they dad ?"

(Damn them and their hearing-impaired, writerly skills.)

However I got to sooth the humiliation by chowing down on the legendary Gemini (Industry) “dinner”, which was everything one could have hoped for after being pummeled in the ring of mano-a-mano Gemini combat.

The Master Chefs at the CNE had concocted a carnival of culinary carpaccios. The piece de resistance being a local Toronto delicacy known as -- “fish” -- festooned with spears of asparagus and drizzled with white “sauce” au jus.

Flagons of Niagara Falls blended red were both spilled and swilled before the Croatian wait-staff presented us with what they knowingly called “desert” – a chunky chocolate chip tartalet.

Best of all however, were the gift bags. After all what would a party be without gift bags ? Well ... I will tell you, because there were none. And it was chintzy.

Going against that tiresome convention of actually giving the nominees something to remember, the Gemini (Industry) organizers daringly opted for an unplugged approach challenging nominees to fork out TEN DOLLARS for a 50-50 ticket on a quaint custom known as the Gemini (Industry) gift-bag “raffle”.

And yes, those lucky winner did indeed get their money's worth.

Inside the "gift" bags lay a treasure trove of Wal-Mart wonders, including-: a “pimped-out” Ipod nano, a 50 dollar discount from a local furniture store (in case of a sudden urge to pick up an armoire on the way home), a tube of Pringles, a set of flip-flops, and a 10% discount off next year’s Academy Membership.

But if I sound bitter at losing this contest too, let me assure you that is not the case.

Once again I had my exceptional daughter on my arm ... and once again I found myself the envy of every man in the building.


Eric said...

The Devil's Brigade loses to the Devil himself. And you thought God was going to win.

Sorry to see that the academy dice didn't roll your way. Next year, indeed, take Dick Nixon's advice.

daughter said...

I most definitely did not find those guys attractive. Slander and libel!

jimhenshaw said...

Wow! You write real good for a director! Plus you seem to have scruples and morals and taste. You sure, you're a director?

Seriously, glad I found your place and promise to become a regular visitor.

wcdixon said...

Easy Henshaw, easy.

Allan said...

Richard Nixon
and the CBC.
There's was actually a similar connection this week elsewhere in Toronto.
Conrad Black signing his book on Nixon, with Patrick Watson in the audience.

So what will you dazzle them with next year?
Maybe The Hansons meet Valdy?
They gave George a Gemini you know.
Would you have respected yourself in the morning?

Book of Don said...

Valdy. Now there IS a blast from the past. I once did a little film on Valdy - really. Told me he hated that "Rock and Roll" song with a passion.

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